I want you to know that you are a physician mom who knows how to make time for the things that matter to you. You know what you want in your life, where to focus, and how to make it happen. You live in the moment, enjoy your family, and you are a fun mom. The best mom. Once and for all, you’ve learned how to stop feeling so overwhelmed and guilty all the time. You don’t feel overworked and burnt out, and you love your job because you know how to recharge each day and deal with whatever is thrown at you.
I promise you – this is you.
You just haven’t met this version of you – yet.
I want to introduce you to the next version of yourself.
I am a primary care physician, and I am a life coach for physician moms. I know what it’s like — because I’ve been there. I’m married and have a 2-year-old son. After my son was born, I was completely overwhelmed trying to juggle full-time practice, a young child, staying connected with my husband, and taking care of myself.
After hiring a life coach to help me navigate what seemed like an impossible goal of feeling in control of my practice and my life, I came out on the other side, empowered and so much happier, and wanting to help other physician moms who are in a similar position.
When I first started out in practice, I wished there was someone who really understood what I was going through that could help me.
I get what you are going through, and I want to be that person for you.
I want you to see that you can go to work each day and feel like practicing medicine is easy, even in today’s healthcare environment.
It is possible to not feel frustrated all the time.
It is possible to have more time to exercise, to get the sleep you need, to spend time with your spouse and kids, and to be yourself again.
You’ll still be a great doctor and the mom you want to be, but you won’t be overworked or overwhelmed.
How is this possible? Simple – it all starts with your thinking. I can show you how to manage your mind so that life feels easy, and so you can create the time that you’ve been wanting all along.
Everything that I teach will be based on The Self Coaching Model, developed by my teacher and life coach Brooke Castillo.
We also refer to it as “The Model” or CTFAR.
This is the foundation for all the coaching that I do, and it will be your go-to to change anything in your life, whether it’s wanting to feel better, showing up as a better person, or getting more of what you want in your life.
What is The Model? It’s the framework to understanding the relationship between your circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results in your life. Once you internalize this, you will see that you can create any result in your life that you want.
C – C stands for circumstances. These are facts that carry no meaning (they are neutral.) If you gathered a room of 10 people, they could all agree on the exact same circumstance.
Examples of circumstances:
-something that occurred in the past: I got a B on that exam. I graduated from college. We went on a vacation to Disney World.
-something someone said: She said, “Your hair looks great.”
-something that can be measured: I weigh 130 lbs.
-something that has legal proof: a license to practice medicine, a marriage certificate
-something that exists (without any descriptors attached): my work, my life, my mom, my computer
-a sensation in the body (i.e. hunger, pain)
T – T stands for your thoughts. Thoughts give meaning to your circumstances. Thoughts are subjective sentences in your mind. They are your perceptions, your interpretations of the world. They help create the stories of your life. Thoughts are also optional and under your control. You can choose to continue believing thoughts if they serve you or if you recognize them to be part of your life experience. You can also choose to change them if they are not serving you.
F – F stands for your own feelings. These are emotions, generated by your thoughts. They are vibrations in your body.
A – A stands for action. These are the things that you do or don’t do as a result of how you feel about something.
R – R stands for results. These are the results you see for yourself. These are not the results you see in the world – because you can’t directly control others or your circumstances. You can think of results as how you end up experiencing or showing up in a situation or relationship, the opportunities you create for yourself, or how you may position yourself to create influence in the world.
To review: circumstances trigger your thoughts, which cause your feelings, which give rise to your actions that produce the results in your life.
Each thought model will be specific to you and your situation.
You can create and practice new thoughts to feel better.
You can put anything you want in the Results line and work backward to find the thought or thoughts that will generate this desired result for you.
There are so many ways you can change how you experience your life, and it’s all within your control.
Remember, the results we have in our lives are essentially a proof of our thoughts. If we want to change the way we are feeling, what we are doing, and the results we are getting, we need to change our thinking.
Let’s work through an example I had to work through early on after I had my son.
When I first worked with my coach, I remember discussing how I spent my time outside of my full-time work. I had shared that I felt a lot of guilt when I wasn’t spending time with my then-infant son.
My circumstance: My time away from work
My thought: When I have spare time, I should be spending all of it with my son.
What did this result in for me?
On the surface it seems like a really nice thought. I want to spend time with my son. Every mom should think this right?
Well, what happened was that it made me feel restricted. When I felt restricted, all I did was go to work, and then come home to focus on my son. Even the blocks in my clinic schedule were focused on pumping (I was still breastfeeding), rather than giving myself an opportunity to catch up, or take a break, or get a bite to eat.
I was starting to lose a part of myself. I didn’t make time for the gym. I didn’t make time to prepare food for myself. I ate what was in the breakroom, and even overate all the sweets, feeling like this was the only way to manage my stress. Hoping to get home earlier, I rearranged my schedule to work through lunch – but this put me behind each day, leaving me with piles of charting that I saved for the hours after my son went to sleep. I went to bed late and perpetuated my bad habit of going to bed late. I was exhausted. I was less present with myself, but also less present with my son and my husband, creating the exact opposite result of what I wanted. I became angry more easily. I didn’t keep up with any of my hobbies. Even cooking, a daily activity that had given me pleasure in the past, was now a chore, something to “get through.” I was less present in the moment and had lost direction of where I was going.
This was because of my thinking.
Before I had found my life coach, I had lost a part of myself because I didn’t give myself permission to be me and to take time for me. I had not known at that time, that just because something is a priority, doesn’t mean that it needs to take all of your time. I hadn’t recognized that in my pursuit of a better parenting experience as a new mom, my frustration and dissatisfaction, which came from not being fully mentally present while I was at home, was fueling a need to have more time with my son, which was only making it harder for me to show up as the best mom I could be.
I decided to identify as someone who still had hobbies and interests. I decided to believe that I could enjoy day-to-day moments with my son and husband and that these were as valuable as the career goals I was working toward. I chose to believe this whether I had 5 minutes with them or the whole day. I decided that there were multiple areas of my life that needed to be nurtured in order for me to flourish. That I was worth it. That I needed to for my and my family’s sake.
When I did this, my life changed. My relationships with my son and husband were better. I was kinder to myself. I learned to be more present, wherever I was. I was more productive and fulfilled by my work.
If you’re still reading this, you must relate to this experience in some way. Maybe a big way.
If so, I want to help you.
I will create a lot of free content and opportunities for my clients, but I think working with me as your life coach one-on-one will give you an even deeper understanding of yourself, and can give you results more quickly.
When you work with me, you learn that managing your time is more about managing your priorities and learning how to get things done. It’s about honoring yourself and what you want in your life.
As your coach, my job is to help you to understand your thinking, and to help you to find your answers.
By working with me as your life coach, you’ll learn how to:
- Make time for you and what matters most to you
- Stop feeling drained and like you’re sacrificing your personal life for your work (or vice versa)
- Get all of your documentation done by the end of the day so that you can focus on more meaningful patient care tasks, and better connect with your patients
- Improve efficiency and get more done each day
- Stop bringing work home
- Focus on spending time with your family
- Open up time to relax, reflect, and spend time on hobbies and interests that you have been ignoring
- Identify priorities
- Create and commit to a schedule
- Set boundaries, so that you protect your time
- Stop trying to make everyone else happy
- Stop giving in to distractions that keep you from spending your time how you really want to
- Be at peace and enjoy where you are in your life.
As your coach, I step out of my physician role as advisor. From a neutral, but supportive and compassionate place, as someone who has been exactly where you are, I show you how you how to take your life to the next level.
This will be an amazing journey, and I am honored to take it with you.
Coaching with me will be different than anything you’ve done before. If you want to see a change in your life and create different results, you need to do something different. Doing something different can be scary and uncomfortable, but it’s what will help you grow and create the life you want. And I will be there to help guide you through the process.